Owning my ENVY

Last week, Hannah, our social networking guru here at Out of The Blue Films, sent out a tweet which brought to our attention, the latest issue of The L Magazine: The latest edition of this print and online publication aimed at young New Yorkers is titled The ENVY Issue and the cover story is 25 Under 25: Young New Yorkers Who Are Better Than You:

As a New Yorker who is (barely) under the age of 25, I was of course nervous about diving into this list of young men and women who have already accomplished such feats as being published in The New Yorker, earning Oscar nominations, and working as editors of magazines and websites before their 26th birthdays. I knew, however, that I could not pass up taking a look.

The first sentences speak volumes. “What have you done with your life? What white lies, what little exaggerations do you tell yourself and your parents about your fancy life here in the big city?”

Whenever I speak to anyone from my hometown, I’m always surprised by how impressed they are with the fact that I live in New York. “Oh wow, New York! How exciting! You must really be living the dream down there. Is it just like TV and the movies?” It’s a nice feeling, to be honest, and I do kind of like the idea of other young people envying me for the fact that I live in such an exciting place. Of course, this means that I usually have to leave out the details of paying too much for rent, living in an apartment that’s about the size of a closet, working three jobs, and a romantic life that falls somewhere in between “pathetic” and “non-existent.”

The opening sentences of this article struck a little bit close to home, and seeing these successful young men and women staring at me from my computer screen was not exactly what I would call a pleasant experience. At first, I couldn’t make it past number 6 before I had to walk away and do something else to distract me from stewing in my ENVY of Simon Rich, Frank Rich’s 25 year-old son who has already been published in The New Yorker and works as a writer for SNL.

But upon further reading, the article ended up being a bit cathartic. The authors of the article did not merely put out a list of successful young people, but they specifically picked people they envied; and not only that, they encouraged their audiences to embrace their ENVY, wallow in it, then turn it into something positive by using it for motivation. As I was reading, I couldn’t help but think that there was something therapeutic in that. The article, which is written in first person in several places, made ENVY a communal issue. It made it clear that it wasn’t just me who felt pained at reading about others’ quarter-life success, but an entire group of people.

It was a great experience as we continue to work on ENVY the documentary and really made me realize the merits of talking openly about the subject. So many people agonize over their ENVY, but taboo and self-consciousness keep them from really talking candidly about it. Once you’re able to own it, though, and admit “I ENVY,” it really is comforting how many people say “me too.”