Cool post on ambition & ENVY from Douglas Eby. Lots of insights, including mention of a title from the 90’s we haven’t yet explored but will — Bonnie Friedman’s Writing Past Dark: ENVY, Fear, Distraction and Other Dilemmas in the Writer’s Life.
Friedman calls ENVY ‘the writer’s disease.’ Yup. 🙂
Thanks to Kim Carlson, who posted Eby’s work on Facebook.
Funny, laser-like observations here from Harris Wittels — standup comedian & writer on NBC’s Parks & Recreation. He’s got a Twitter page that follows those guilty of the humble brag: silly, whiny complaints masking a major brag.
“What I hate about a humble brag is that people try to come off like they aren’t bragging. It’s people not being honest about their intention. Just tell us you are at an exclusive party. Don’t hide it behind a complaint about your dress not fitting.”
Are the folks that do this deliberately stoking ENVY? Wittels thinks so: “I have realized that people do most things so they can tell other people about it. It’s all validation.”
Thanks to @lskonech for the tip on this WSJ.com piece!!
‘Ugh. I just pocket dialed spokesperson for Pentagon.’ —Greta Van Susteren
Out of The Blue Films has officially been recognized for its spirit of service through the artistry of film and awarded 501(c)(3) status by the IRS.
You can now make your tax-deductible donation directly to Out of The Blue. Your donation helps us fulfill our mission to bring you exceptional storytelling that explores, articulates, and celebrates humanity. Every single dollar makes a difference!
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Join our groundbreaking new project-in-progress, ENVY the documentary, with a donation of $10, $25, $50 or more. This bold, insightful, humorous film and interactive initiative will explore the causes and consequences of the most corrosive human emotion: ENVY.
Here’s a sneak preview of our first ENVY teaser!
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Last week, Hannah, our social networking guru here at Out of The Blue Films, sent out a tweet which brought to our attention, the latest issue of The L Magazine: The latest edition of this print and online publication aimed at young New Yorkers is titled The ENVY Issue and the cover story is 25 Under 25: Young New Yorkers Who Are Better Than You:
As a New Yorker who is (barely) under the age of 25, I was of course nervous about diving into this list of young men and women who have already accomplished such feats as being published in The New Yorker, earning Oscar nominations, and working as editors of magazines and websites before their 26th birthdays. I knew, however, that I could not pass up taking a look.
The first sentences speak volumes. “What have you done with your life? What white lies, what little exaggerations do you tell yourself and your parents about your fancy life here in the big city?”
Whenever I speak to anyone from my hometown, I’m always surprised by how impressed they are with the fact that I live in New York. “Oh wow, New York! How exciting! You must really be living the dream down there. Is it just like TV and the movies?” It’s a nice feeling, to be honest, and I do kind of like the idea of other young people envying me for the fact that I live in such an exciting place. Of course, this means that I usually have to leave out the details of paying too much for rent, living in an apartment that’s about the size of a closet, working three jobs, and a romantic life that falls somewhere in between “pathetic” and “non-existent.”
The opening sentences of this article struck a little bit close to home, and seeing these successful young men and women staring at me from my computer screen was not exactly what I would call a pleasant experience. At first, I couldn’t make it past number 6 before I had to walk away and do something else to distract me from stewing in my ENVY of Simon Rich, Frank Rich’s 25 year-old son who has already been published in The New Yorker and works as a writer for SNL.
But upon further reading, the article ended up being a bit cathartic. The authors of the article did not merely put out a list of successful young people, but they specifically picked people they envied; and not only that, they encouraged their audiences to embrace their ENVY, wallow in it, then turn it into something positive by using it for motivation. As I was reading, I couldn’t help but think that there was something therapeutic in that. The article, which is written in first person in several places, made ENVY a communal issue. It made it clear that it wasn’t just me who felt pained at reading about others’ quarter-life success, but an entire group of people.
It was a great experience as we continue to work on ENVY the documentary and really made me realize the merits of talking openly about the subject. So many people agonize over their ENVY, but taboo and self-consciousness keep them from really talking candidly about it. Once you’re able to own it, though, and admit “I ENVY,” it really is comforting how many people say “me too.”
Couldn’t resist following up to Tuesday’s post after the newest developments about Tiger emerged. Tiger’s statement Wednesday finally gave the people what they wanted. His words revealed his marriage to be a relationship on the brink and his home life as deeply troubled.
To continue with the metaphor I used in Tuesday’s post, the sharks not only smell the blood in the water, they’ve found the victim and gone in for the kill.
Twitter is atwitter (and facebook, youtube, and blogosphere as well) with musical spoofs of Tiger’s voicemail to his mistress and last week’s 911 call. A video mashup is also making the rounds, which combines images from Tiger’s accident with the music video for Jazmine Sullivan’s jaded-woman anthem, “Bust the Windows Out Your Car.”
In case there was any doubt that people are taking pleasure in Tiger’s misfortune, there’s your proof.
The Tiger situation is certainly nothing new. America’s obsession with celebrities and the pseudo-celebrities of reality TV certainly breeds this sort of schadenfreude. It’s a topic that we’re discussing a lot at Out of The Blue and we’re very much looking forward to pursuing on the path to ENVY the Documentary.
We’d love to hear your thoughts!
Until a few days ago, Tiger Woods seemed to have everything: the talent, the riches, the family, the face that single-handedly revived interest in American golf, and the title of “one of the greatest athletes of all time”. But most of all, he was respected and he was liked. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who has been vocal about passionately hating or resenting Tiger at all; and that’s rare for an athlete.
Even the best athletes have their fair share of naysayers and detractors, anti-fans who are often motivated none-too-subtly by ENVY. Sure I call Kobe Bryant a selfish, overrated weasel, but deep down I know that it’s only because he’s a talented basketball player who just happens to fall on the opposite side of a Celtics-Lakers rivalry.
Things were different with Tiger, though. He was too good even for the enviers – not only because golf is notably lacking the same kind of rivalry that exists in other American sports – but because he was an icon. Tiger was a glistening, pristine symbol of the American sports dream. He got to where he was through talent and hard work, had a great family and beautiful children, and always seemed like a normal guy who was just really, really good at golf.
The money, the beautiful family, the mansions… Tiger woods had it all, but the ENVY was seemingly kept at bay. He had earned everyone’s respect to the point that any criticism simply seemed petty, tacky, and unfounded.
Then came the accident.
There’s blood in the water. And the sharks can smell it.
The media and the public are gripped by the story and the speculations about possible domestic controversy (fueled, notably, by the Woods’ silence and refusal to meet with police) are running rampant. But why?
Everyone seems to be salivating at the idea that golf’s golden boy may have some cracks in his armor. Could the non-stop coverage of Woods’s accident and alleged marital problems be schadenfreude at its best? Deep down, were people just waiting for the mighty to fall?
Perhaps there was more ENVY of golf’s golden boy in all of us than we had been willing to admit.
One of the most recognizable side effects of ENVY is the desire to detract from another’s success, the need to attack the person who possesses that which you want. Now, for the first time, the public really seems to have an excuse to do that to Woods and judging by the headlines and images strewn across tabloid front pages and blogs, they’re seizing it.
No one’s perfect. Not even Tiger, it seems.
And that little tinge of satisfaction that comes along with reading that line (and writing it, I’ll admit)? That might just be schadenfreude at its sneakiest…
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